First Comes Love

So, Taylor and I found out last week that we have been approved to live in Cougar Court Married Housing in September! And Can I just say how excited I am !? The apartments are 2 bedrooms, unfurnished, but they are so cute! I'm getting so excited to start moving all of our stuff into OUR cute little apartment and starting a new chapter in my life. AND I can't wait to decorate it and make it home. :) I think that sometimes people think that I'm cutting my life short and that I should be out there experiencing the normal life of a college student, but I've never really been into that. I have not regret for one second the decision that I have made.

Dance has always kind of played into mine and Taylor's relationship. We met in a social dance class. The night that I fell in love with Taylor, which also happened to be the night before Taylor told me he loved me for the first time, Taylor and I were sitting on the sidewalk of an empty church parking lot, talking, and he asked me to dance with him, with no music playing. My heart basically melted. I thought it was quite possibly the cutest thing in the world. Also, when Taylor proposed, I walked into the room and heard music playing and he asked me to dance with him. I started crying, A LOT. And the thing is, I definitely knew that Taylor would propose the day he did. I know Taylor VERY well, and the night before, I knew that he had talked to my dad and asked him for my hand in marriage. I knew that Taylor would not wait one day more than he had to to propose. But at the same time, I was so caught off guard when it actually did happen! But back to the story, After the waterfalls stopped running from my eyes, he led me over to a table that was nicely set with a cute tablecloth and rose petals scattered all around the floor, with a single red rose on my plate. The rose was also significant because the day that he told me he loved me for the first time, he brought me a single red rose.He pulled out my chair for me and I sat down and the next thing I knew, he was on one knee. I couldn't help it, the waterworks started again and didn't stop for a good 10 minutes. It was so beautiful and it was by far the best moment of my entire life. After he gave me the most beautiful ring, we sat and enjoyed a candlelit dinner with sparkling cider ! I love me some sparkling cider :) haha. But anyways, just last week, Taylor and I went for a drive and we ended up back at the same parking lot where he had asked me to dance the first time, and he asked me to dance again. This time though, there was music playing in his truck. In that moment, I was brought back to all of the amazing memories we spent together, just dancing, the two of us, as if the world slowed down for just a minute and we were the only two people around. I cried, again. Taylor constantly surprises me with how romantic he is sometimes.

That moment made me look back at our relationship and see how much we've grown. It also made me look forward to our marriage even more. Within the first few days that I was back out in Idaho, I got extremely sick. I couldn't stand up because the pain was too much to handle. I couldn't eat because that only made it worse. The only thing I could do was lie down on the couch, curled up in a ball, hoping that I wouldn't move too much for fear that the pain would get worse. Taylor took care of me. He ran to the store and got me medicine and sprite to help settle my stomach. He got me blankets when I was cold, he made me breakfast, even though I couldn't eat much, and he just sat there with me, stroking my hair. I am so blessed. I really couldn't have asked for a better guy.

 Oh and another thing that has been fun these last few days is that we've been looking and trying to decide where we're going to go on our honeymoon. I think we've finally decided...CANCUN! So exciting, right !? I told Taylor that when we're both done with school and making big bucks, our next vacation is Bora Bora. :) haha.

The little things, like getting approved for an apartment, and registering for items for my future home, and wedding planning, lots and lots of wedding planning, but taking it piece by piece, are allowing me to look forward so much to August 31st, when I am sealed to the love of my life for time and all eternity. I also look forward to being a mother, sometime in the distant future. But first, being a wife, and a good wife at that. I have this vision in my mind that I will wake up and cook Taylor breakfast before we both head off to school or work.We will kiss hello and goodbye. We will overuse "I love you's." We will go on dates every week. He will take care of me when I'm sick and I'll iron his shirts when they're wrinkled. It will be wonderful. And best of all, I won't have to spend one more day without my best friend. :)

Save the Date

First order of business... I'M ENGAGED. But that's old news, and just now I'm getting around to telling all of my fellow bloggers and followers. What can I say, life got busy, and complicated. And let's face it, I'm horrible at keeping up with the significant events in my life and blogging about them. But, I promise, I will try to be better at this. Fingers crossed.

I am nineteen years old, with my 20th birthday soon approaching. My off track for school was in the winter, which means that from Christmas break until April, I was in Pennsylvania, working, 2 jobs, sometimes 50 hours a week. Not a big deal right? But anyways, I worked at Johnny Rockets as a waitress and also at New York& Company. I can't tell you how many times I would have a table at Johnny Rockets that would ask me how old I was and I would tell them 19 and they would say, "Oh my goodness! You look like you're not even old enough to be working, you look about 14!" And then they would notice my engagement ring, and that's a whole other story in itself. Let's just say that by the time I came back out to Idaho, I was so sick of hearing people tell me that I'm too young and that I don't know what I'm doing and worst of all, that I don't know Taylor well enough to be getting married right now. Which first of all, the people telling me these things were people that ... a.) I just met b.) I had a better relationship than or c.) were jealous that they were with their boyfriend for __ years and weren't engaged yet. Basically, this picture sums up what people thought about me getting married... They thought I was a baby.



It seemed like nobody even cared to listen to what I had to say about the matter. They thought I was getting married because I was either crazy, pregnant, or both. And they all seemed to have little faith that this marriage would work, making it sound like a divorce would be happening sometime in my near future. It amazes me how quickly people jump to conclusions. It doesn't matter that I have come to a knowledge that Taylor Daryl Williams is the man that I will spend time and all eternity with, it doesn't matter that the family, beginning with finding an eternal companion is the basis of our church, which is why it isn't an issue to take lightly. No, all that matters to everybody else is my age. People just cannot get past the number. To me, that is sad.

Another thing is that I am and always have been a shyer person. People take this information as a fact that I'm not ready to be married because I don't have communication skills. But actually, when I have something to say, I let my point be known to others. I feel like communication could potentially have been a weakness of mine, but now I believe that I have made it a strong point. I am able to communicate well through writing and also speaking, and for that, I am greatly blessed. Whether or not I choose to exercise that gift is entirely up to me, but it is not something that I should be judged for.

In taking this huge step in my life, I am learning and growing and preparing myself for marriage. In my Personal Achievement class last semester, my teacher asked the class how many of us had a spouse. Nobody raised their hands. He then stared at us and said "Everybody in the class should be raising their hands." Baffled at this, nobody in the class said anything. He then explained that each one of us has a spouse and has children. Although we may not have them right now, we still have them. He went on to say that somewhere out there is our spouse. They may be taking somebody else on a date, doing homework, or going running at that very moment, but our future spouse is out there. He told us that we needed to live our lives in such a way that would allow us to better ourselves, because our choices right now do not solely affect ourselves, but our future family as well. That was amazing to me. The simple choice of deciding whether or not to join a social dance class and at what time made all the difference for me. That is where I met my fiance. The simple choice of deciding to talk to Taylor made a difference.

I never intended to get married at 19. When I first came out to college, I told myself I wouldn't be one of those girls who put the meaning to the nickname BYU-IDO. I fooled myself. In the Lord's own time, I found and fell head over heels for Taylor. He truly puts life in color for me. Things that I wasn't so sure of before, are clearer now. Things just make sense. And being with him is so effortless. Like I don't even have to try to impress him because just being myself is enough. Nobody understands me like Taylor does, nor do I think anybody will ever understand me like he does. I hope that one day, all of the people who either silently or admittedly had doubts about this marriage working, will look back and realize that things aren't always just black and white. It's not always one way or the other. There's a whole spectrum of colors out there, but people make it too easy on themselves and they just don't try to think outside of the norm. They don't realize that my culture and the way I choose to live my life is a lot different than how most others choose to live. And until people can come to understand the way I have chosen to live, how can they possibly understand my choices. Taylor is my life, he is my choice, and I cannot even tell you how excited I am to start my life with him. August 31st, save the date. :)

God Gave Me You

From the first moment that I saw Taylor, I knew that he was somebody that I wanted to know and that he would be someone worth getting to know. There was just something about him that before I even met him, I felt like I already knew him.

I'm going to have to disagree with the statement that "curiosity killed the cat," because my curiosity gave me a different perspective on life. After meeting Taylor, I sometimes feel like my reason for existence was to find Taylor. We all have some sort of idea of the kind of man that we want. Sometimes, we make these huge lists of qualities that we want and if a guy doesn't have one, it could potentially be a deal breaker. All my life, I thought I had this idea in my head of what the perfect man for me would be like, and my imagination was pretty creative with that, but Taylor is everything that I imagined, magnified 10 times. He is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. He completes me. I found the man that I am going to be sealed to for time and all eternity.

I told a friend of mine not too long ago, that Taylor and I plan on getting married. She looked at me as if I were a lunatic. I tried to explain to her that I was certain that I was going to marry him, and she was even more baffled. She was so interested in what I had to say, and I wasn't quite sure why. She explained to me that normally, when people have been dating for a long time, usually a few years, they work up to the idea of marriage. When they feel as though they have hit a certain point in their relationship, that's when they start thinking about marriage. She said that for me to say that I was certain that he was the one for me was kind of crazy because for a lot of people, their mindset isn't "he is the one that I want to spend time and all eternity with," but most others see it as,"at this moment, I'm satisfied with where we are in this relationship, so let's get married because it's the next step." Most people work up to marriage, but it worked out differently for me. Marriage was the last thing that I ever thought I would be having to worry about at this point in my life, I'm 19 years old. But the Lord's plan for me tells me differently. I know that I am going to marry Taylor. There is a song that I feel like describes Taylor and I's situation quite well. In the song, I love you this big by Scott McCreery, it says:

I know I'm still young,
but, I know how I feel
I might not have too much experience
but, I know when love is real

By the way my heart starts pounding
When I look into your eyes
I might look a little silly
Standing with my arms stretched open wide

I love you this big
Eyes have never seen.. this big
No one's ever dreamed.. this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big.

I know that I'm about 7 years younger than the average national age for girls getting married, but I know what I'm doing. I know what love is, and I know that I love Taylor, with every fiber of my being, I might add. There was one night when we were just watching a movie, and I turned my head to look at Taylor, and he was already looking at me. We stared at each other for a moment, and then I just got a rush and knew that it was right. It has been made very clear to me through various other experiences, such as the one just mentioned. Even just as simple as that one was.

With Taylor, everything just feels right. Due to a past relationship, I have struggled with being able to just be me, to be my complete self around others, and not try to change to fit their likes. I still struggle with opening up to people a little bit. With Taylor, I don't have to try, I am just always myself with him. When my mom met Taylor for the first time, she told me that day that she liked the person that I was when I was with Taylor, because she could tell how happy I was, and she knows better than anyone that if there's one person I can always be myself around, it's him. That was huge for me. I'm going to use another song to describe how I feel about him as well. In the song God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton, it says:

...And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, its true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Taylor makes me a better person. We are stronger together, than we are apart. You'd think that after spending day after day together, for hours and hours at a time, you would get sick of someone. Nope. We're different in that way too. We really don't get sick of each other, which is good because we both prefer to spend all day, every day together. Almost 5 months ago, Taylor and I had our first date. I don't think I ever imagined that things would turn out as they have, but I do know that this has been the happiest 5 months of my life. We have had to endure being separated at opposite ends of the United States for a few weeks, but that only made our love for each other stronger, and the time that we spent together when we saw each other again, more precious. I'm not sure if they will ever read this, but I would just like to take a second and thank Taylor's parents for raising their son to be the man of my dreams. Taylor speaks so highly of all of his family members and it is evident that family is of utmost importance to him. Also, his siblings for being accepting of me. Before I meet another of Taylor's siblings, I always get really nervous, and fear that they won't like me, and Taylor knows that. He tells me not to worry about it and says that his family loves me already. I tell him that's impossible because they haven't even met me. He replies by telling me that he knows they're going to love me because they can all tell how much he loves me.

There was one night when Taylor and I didn't get to see each other for as long as we would have liked because I had a big test coming up the next day and I was studying all night for it. Taylor was texting me, and when I was finally too tired and couldn't study anymore, I told him that I was going to go to bed. He said "wait one second, okay?" A minute later, I heard a knock on my bedroom window. I pulled up the blinds, and Taylor was standing there. He came to my window to tell me goodnight, and as he was leaving, he handed me a note that said, I love you. Little things like this, make me fall in love with Taylor all over again. He opens the car door for me every time we get in the car, he comes to take care of me when I'm not feeling good, he walks me to and from class, he dances with me in parking lots when no music is playing, and he shows me that he loves me each and every day. Every girl deserves to have a guy like this, and I have been so blessed by him. I can't wait to spend forever with him. I love you, Taylor. <3

Don't Lose Your Lift Ticket

There is a quote in Hamlet that says, "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts."

I had an experience that reminded me of this quote just a few weeks ago. It was a Saturday night, and me and one of my roommates were bored. We decided that what better way to get us going on a Saturday night than by turning up the music really loud and just having a jam session? Anybody who knows me can tell you that once the music starts playing, it's inevitable that I will jam, regardless of sometimes looking like a fool doing so. As this was happening, I noticed that our blinds were open. I saw something green outside of the window, and walked over to investigate. To my dismay, I realized that there were a few boys standing outside of our window, watching me make a fool out of myself. At first, I was humiliated, but after a few seconds, I decided that I didn't care and that I was going to keep doing what I was doing. This event made me think of a very important life lesson: Someone is always watching, whether we know it or not and whether we like it or not.

Maybe it's just automatically built into our brains that being different is a bad thing. A lot of our lives, we strive to fit in. We make it a top priority to know what the latest fashion is and to know the latest trends so that we can fit in and not stick out like a sore thumb. But, what's so wrong with being different? To me, being different just says that you're standing for something that you believe in and you're not afraid to make that known to people and to make a statement. I have come to terms with the fact that I am different.

As the quote says, we all play many parts in our life time. I think that this is representative of the different stages that we go through in our lives. One of the most important stages that I remember going through in my life thusfar, was realizing that I was different, but that it wasn't a bad thing. I realize that part of being who I am is facing the fact that I am different, and that people will judge me for my beliefs. I think that the first time I started to realize this was a few years back when I was at an archery tournament. I noticed that as I was competing in this archery tournament, an older man was watching me. After a few minutes of this going on, the man approached me. We started talking about archery and then he did something that surprised me. He told me that I was different and that he had noticed, and he pulled a laminated card out of his pocket. He handed it to me and I sat there, looking at it for a few moments, not entirely registering what it said. It was a picture of a man on a ski lift, being lifted up and approaching the sun (the light). At the top of this card, it said "Don't lose your lift ticket." The man talked to me for a few more moments, and then for the rest of the tournament, he was nowhere to be found. At first, I thought it was so strange, that a random man would come up to me and do such a thing. I thought, "Of everybody competing in the tournament, Why me? Why did he come up and give this to me?" I then looked at the card again, and was instantly so grateful that this situation had occurred. The man taught me something that day, something that I don't know that I will ever be able to put my finger on. I just remember looking about that picture and thinking to myself "The gospel is my lift ticket, and if I lose that ticket, I will just be wandering around, not exactly sure what to do or which path to take."

As the second part of the quote mentions, "players have their exits and entrances." Part of growing up is realizing and accepting that there are going to be people in your life for a reason, but also that there are going to be people in your life that will disappear from your stage, never to return again. I'm thankful for the people in my life that have been on stage with me from Day 1, and also the new additions to my play, because each and every one of these people has taught me something important and helped me to find myself along the way.

We are each cast a role in the play of life, starting when we are born. We must try our best to be able to fit the role we have been assigned, but sometimes no matter how hard we try, our best is never good enough for the audience. We may sometimes slip up and forget our lines or be in the wrong place at the wrong time, leaving the audience wanting to throw tomatoes at us. Or, things can take an opposite turn and leave the audience giving us a standing ovation. However, through this process of learning to find ourselves, and play "our part," we are going to make mistakes. People are always going to be there watching us, every step of the way, so let's make the show worthwhile.

Drowned Rat with Glasses

June 21, 1992 was the day that I was born. That day just happened to be Father's Day as well. Each year around this time, I joke with my family and say that I was the best Father's Day present my dad could have gotten because after having two boys, I was his little girl. But this blog post is not about me by any means, it is about a very influential man in my life, my dad. Can I just start off by saying how grateful I am for my him? Despite the disagreements on my wearing makeup and wearing my hair a certain way, me and my dad have always gotten along and he has taught me some very important life lessons.

My dad is very good with managing finances and saving nearly every single dime that he makes. On numerous occasions he has tried to teach me this important lesson. But being a girl, it is in my nature to want to spend my money on shopping. I think when I came out to college I realized that I should have spent a little more time paying attention when he taught me about the importance of saving my money. I hope to someday be as good of a saver as he is.

Another thing about my dad that I love is that he is a people person. He can start up a conversation with just about anybody. I remember growing up, whenever we would go somewhere, my dad always knew somebody. It seemed to me like he knew everybody within a twenty mile radius of our house. As a little girl, I wished that I could have that many friends someday. I admire him for his people skills.

My dad is also a very good instructor. He teaches archery and is patient with the younger children, but strict when they are not listening or just choose to disobey. Archery was one activity that every single member of my family was involved in, and I loved that. We would go to archery tournaments and have our own support/cheering section. Of course you don't really cheer in archery, but that's beside the point.

My dad always made it to any event or activity in my life that I considered important. I was a cheerleader in high school, and even though he made fun of me for that and called me a "ditzy cheerleader," he never once missed a game. He attended every single dance recital that I have been in, and I took at least 10-12 years of dancing. I know that guys are not very interested in watching dance recitals and that they would much rather be watching basketball, but he came without fail every year. Deep down, I think he secretly liked watching me dance. :)

I feel like I don't really look like anybody in my family, but people have told me that I look just like my dad. Of course, I take this as a compliment because my dad was known as quite a fox back in the day. I remember him telling us stories about when he was younger and how he would get in fights with guys at school and I remember thinking that was really cool. And as I mentioned earlier, he would call me a ditzy cheerleader, which meant that it was only appropriate that I called him out for being a dumb jock in highschool.

There's one really funny story that comes to mind whenever I think about my dad. We were swimming in the pool one day when I was little and had just gotten out. Normally, when you just get out of the pool, your hair is all weird and stringy. My dad commented that I looked like a "drowned rat." My reply was "Well you look like a drowned rat with glasses." Haha.

With Father's Day being tomorrow, I wanted to take this time to let my dad know how much he means to me. I'm so excited to be able to see him and the rest of my family in about 41 days. I miss and love you all and can't wait to see you ! Happy Father's Day dad !<3

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

I have never been "that girl" who involves herself in drama. No, I've tried to steer clear of all the drama that comes with being a teenage girl. However, I think we have all fallen victim to silently judging a book by its cover. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when I definitely put a label on people who I don't even know, just based on the few seconds that I see of them in passing or overhear a conversation that they are having. That is one thing that I have been trying to work on the most this semester, not judging. So far, I have to say that I'm doing a pretty good job, but every once in a while I catch myself breaking my good streak and having to start all over again.

The first item I'd like to address is this... "Why are they together, he's soo out of her league!?" First of all, I'm pretty sure I don't believe in the whole "out of your league concept." You love who you love and there's really not anything you can do about it. And besides, the last time I checked, there wasn't a universal scale of goodlooking-ness where people went to look up what their rating was, so how did you get the privilege of randomly selecting a number and assigning it to a person? Love is deeper than just skin deep, it's the emotional bond that you share as well, so who's to judge a couple based on their looks? Not me, that's for sure. What I do know though is that we will never be able to see what somebody sees in somebody else until we get to know that person for ourselves.

The second item I'd like to address is one that is near and dear to my heart. Anybody who is in their right mind knows that there are two sides to every story. Having said this, why are we so quick to jump on and attack one person based on the snippets of information we've heard "through the grapevine?" It's really kind of pathetic how people who have no business sticking their nose somewhere are living through the thrill of drama that comes from butting into other people's business, and judging those people based on the things that they've heard. I know that as humans, it is inevitable that we are going to make mistakes, but I think people need to stop and think about what they say before they say it. A very good friend of mine is going through a tough time with this right now. People are placing harsh judgements on her based on the information they have heard from others. Is this really fair? Not at all. If you want to find out answers, maybe you should try getting both sides of the story instead of just one. If there's one thing I know, it's that if people care enough to bother with what you do and how you live your life, then you're already better than them. Let them think what they will, you know the truth of the matter and that should be all that matters.

There's a movie that kind of reminds me of this topic. I have learned to love the movie Despicable Me. My roommates can tell you that much, because I think I quote that movie every single day... and I have a little inflatable minion chilling out on my desk in my room. Yes, I'm a nerd. But anyways, I really like the theme that comes across in the end. I've found that theme to be having a change of heart. It took getting to know three little orphan girls for Gru, the main character to be able to make a 180 degree change in his life. He started off being this big bad villain, but by the end of the story you can clearly see the change in his life that has taken place. He realizes that his love for these three girls overpowers his love for doing evil. I think that kind of applies in this situation as well. By going around and making judgments about people, we are being no better than a villain and stirring up trouble and contention. We need to remember to find ourselves throughout this process and be able to realize who we are or who we want to become and become that person. I'm almost positive when you think of a good person, the word judgmental is not the first word that comes to mind. We need to quit being the people that we promised ourselves we would never be and think about our actions and words before we end up hurting someone who does not deserve to be hurt. It's funny how big of an impact a children's movie can have on somebody's life. Just to leave with a quote, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Mother Knows Best

With Mother's Day soon approaching, I figured I would take this time to write a little something about my mom. First off, I have the best mom in the entire world. She is not only my parental unit, but my very best friend. She has been there for me through thick and thin. When I left Pennsylvania and came out to college in Idaho, all the way on the other side of the country, I didn't realize how hard it would be to not have my mom around. Don't worry though, I found a solution: calling her, every single day without fail. :)

I can honestly say that I don't think I have ever gone through that stage where I was embarrassed of being around my mom as a teen. Whenever I had friends come over, they always thought of her as "the cool mom." And, she always was the cool mom. I can talk to my mom about anything and everything. On my worst of days and on the days when something exciting happens in my life, she is the first person to get the scoop. My senior year of high school, there would be some weekends when I wouldn't go out and hangout with my friends, but I would go to the movies with my mom instead. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in the world.

I hope that someday I am lucky enough to have the kind of relationship me and my mom have with my own children. She helps me through every situation that pops up in my life, and I find that she always knows the right thing to say to make me feel just a little bit better. I guess the saying really is true, mother knows best. I think that all mom's have this built in sense of knowing EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. She knows when I'm upset before I ever have to say a word. It's like a spidey sense that only mom's have. I think that my mom and I share this bond where we are able to be good judges of character and we also get good or bad feelings about certain things in life. Like mother, like daughter I guess you can say. I'm so thankful that she is there to give me a nudge in the right direction when my mind is off in a million directions. I just want my mom to know how much I love and miss her and how much I appreciate everything she does for me. I can't wait until I'm able to go home and see her and the rest of my family again because I miss them all so very much. If there's one thing I learned while I've been out here at college, it would be to make the most of the time that I have with my family. I think that statement alone is proof that I have grown up in being on my own for these past few months. Friends are no longer the most important thing in my life, family will always come first. Love and miss all of my family. Happy Mother's Day mom ! <3