Why Being A Mom Isn't A Job

A few weeks ago while I was playing at home with Gage, somebody made a comment that really got me thinking. They asked me if having a baby took away my freedom. I promptly responded, "No. I can still do whatever I want, but now I just have a little buddy to do things with." But the wheels in my head kept on spinning. You see, according to the world, having a baby DOES take away your freedom. You're no longer free to be selfish and just think about the things that you want. Now you have to put someone else's needs above your own. I think for some people that's a foreign concept, especially in this ME-centered society that we live in. People are always talking about ways to further their education and their careers. Which is why, as a young mom, I feel that people continue to question my decision to start a family at 21. I was pregnant when I graduated college with my Bachelor's Degree. Was it hard? Absolutely. But did it make it that much more worth it when I was able to walk across that stage and get my diploma with my little man in the audience? A thousand times yes. Just like I want to be with Gage through the milestones in his life, I feel so blessed that I'm also able to share my milestones with him.

 Having a baby has in no way, shape, or form hindered me from being able to do the things I want to do. It's quite the opposite, actually. Being a mom has opened the doors to so many new experiences already. It has taught me to be selfless and to cherish every single day because the days are long, but the years are short. (something that I'm already learning)  If I weren't a mom, I wouldn't be able to experience life through mom eyes, and that's a beautiful thing because it makes you feel all the feels.

When I was younger, one of my dreams was to travel the world. I longed to see the cities that I'd read about and seen in the movies. I wanted to see what all the hype was about. And in my mind, I would be young and traveling the world with my husband. I didn't see myself dragging kids along, because traveling with a spouse is romantic, but traveling with kids is a hassle. But my priorities have since changed. It's funny how something that you once thought was so important to you, doesn't seem so important anymore.Instead of longing to experience the world, I long to have just a few more minutes with Gage before I put him down for bed. I look forward to him waking up in the morning and babbling to himself until I come in and get him, and doing something silly to make him full on belly-laugh, and that when I tickle underneath his chin he has almost a ticklish twitch where he buries his chin into his chest. These are the moments that make me feel something....feelings that I don't want to ever forget. It's hard to even describe what I'm feeling in these moments because it will never do it justice. The feelings aren't black and white, there are so many shades of gray. I can't just use the word "joy" to describe them because I've used the word joy to describe such trivial things as how I felt when BYU won the football game last week or when I bought a new dress. Those things aren't even on the same playing field.  There are no words for the feelings I feel when I put Gage in his bed at night and he grabs onto my finger and then wraps his legs around my arms so that I'll stay in the room with him until he falls asleep. So no, having a family doesn't take away my freedom, it just gives me more opportunities to experience things on a deeper level.

Freedom is all about your mindset. If after you have kids you tell yourself that you've lost all your freedom, then that's what's going to happen. Just because you have kids doesn't mean your freedom automatically goes away. If you treat being a parent like it's your job, then in a way, I guess you do lose some of your freedom because it's a 24/7 job as opposed to a typical 9-5 job. The difference is that when you leave your day job on Friday, you get to leave your work at the office and do whatever you want for the rest of the weekend when you pull out of that parking lot. If I leave the house without Gage, that doesn't mean I can leave all my mom responsibilities behind and take a few days off. The way I see it is that being a mom is less of a job and more of a calling. One of my favorite quotes by Neil A. Anderson says, " Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in, it is what God gave you time for." I get to be Gage's mom, it's a privilege and not a burden. I have been entrusted to take care of this sweet little soul and I want to do all that I can to ensure that he grows up knowing that being his mom was always what I wanted to be doing above all else.