Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

I have never been "that girl" who involves herself in drama. No, I've tried to steer clear of all the drama that comes with being a teenage girl. However, I think we have all fallen victim to silently judging a book by its cover. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when I definitely put a label on people who I don't even know, just based on the few seconds that I see of them in passing or overhear a conversation that they are having. That is one thing that I have been trying to work on the most this semester, not judging. So far, I have to say that I'm doing a pretty good job, but every once in a while I catch myself breaking my good streak and having to start all over again.

The first item I'd like to address is this... "Why are they together, he's soo out of her league!?" First of all, I'm pretty sure I don't believe in the whole "out of your league concept." You love who you love and there's really not anything you can do about it. And besides, the last time I checked, there wasn't a universal scale of goodlooking-ness where people went to look up what their rating was, so how did you get the privilege of randomly selecting a number and assigning it to a person? Love is deeper than just skin deep, it's the emotional bond that you share as well, so who's to judge a couple based on their looks? Not me, that's for sure. What I do know though is that we will never be able to see what somebody sees in somebody else until we get to know that person for ourselves.

The second item I'd like to address is one that is near and dear to my heart. Anybody who is in their right mind knows that there are two sides to every story. Having said this, why are we so quick to jump on and attack one person based on the snippets of information we've heard "through the grapevine?" It's really kind of pathetic how people who have no business sticking their nose somewhere are living through the thrill of drama that comes from butting into other people's business, and judging those people based on the things that they've heard. I know that as humans, it is inevitable that we are going to make mistakes, but I think people need to stop and think about what they say before they say it. A very good friend of mine is going through a tough time with this right now. People are placing harsh judgements on her based on the information they have heard from others. Is this really fair? Not at all. If you want to find out answers, maybe you should try getting both sides of the story instead of just one. If there's one thing I know, it's that if people care enough to bother with what you do and how you live your life, then you're already better than them. Let them think what they will, you know the truth of the matter and that should be all that matters.

There's a movie that kind of reminds me of this topic. I have learned to love the movie Despicable Me. My roommates can tell you that much, because I think I quote that movie every single day... and I have a little inflatable minion chilling out on my desk in my room. Yes, I'm a nerd. But anyways, I really like the theme that comes across in the end. I've found that theme to be having a change of heart. It took getting to know three little orphan girls for Gru, the main character to be able to make a 180 degree change in his life. He started off being this big bad villain, but by the end of the story you can clearly see the change in his life that has taken place. He realizes that his love for these three girls overpowers his love for doing evil. I think that kind of applies in this situation as well. By going around and making judgments about people, we are being no better than a villain and stirring up trouble and contention. We need to remember to find ourselves throughout this process and be able to realize who we are or who we want to become and become that person. I'm almost positive when you think of a good person, the word judgmental is not the first word that comes to mind. We need to quit being the people that we promised ourselves we would never be and think about our actions and words before we end up hurting someone who does not deserve to be hurt. It's funny how big of an impact a children's movie can have on somebody's life. Just to leave with a quote, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Mother Knows Best

With Mother's Day soon approaching, I figured I would take this time to write a little something about my mom. First off, I have the best mom in the entire world. She is not only my parental unit, but my very best friend. She has been there for me through thick and thin. When I left Pennsylvania and came out to college in Idaho, all the way on the other side of the country, I didn't realize how hard it would be to not have my mom around. Don't worry though, I found a solution: calling her, every single day without fail. :)

I can honestly say that I don't think I have ever gone through that stage where I was embarrassed of being around my mom as a teen. Whenever I had friends come over, they always thought of her as "the cool mom." And, she always was the cool mom. I can talk to my mom about anything and everything. On my worst of days and on the days when something exciting happens in my life, she is the first person to get the scoop. My senior year of high school, there would be some weekends when I wouldn't go out and hangout with my friends, but I would go to the movies with my mom instead. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in the world.

I hope that someday I am lucky enough to have the kind of relationship me and my mom have with my own children. She helps me through every situation that pops up in my life, and I find that she always knows the right thing to say to make me feel just a little bit better. I guess the saying really is true, mother knows best. I think that all mom's have this built in sense of knowing EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. She knows when I'm upset before I ever have to say a word. It's like a spidey sense that only mom's have. I think that my mom and I share this bond where we are able to be good judges of character and we also get good or bad feelings about certain things in life. Like mother, like daughter I guess you can say. I'm so thankful that she is there to give me a nudge in the right direction when my mind is off in a million directions. I just want my mom to know how much I love and miss her and how much I appreciate everything she does for me. I can't wait until I'm able to go home and see her and the rest of my family again because I miss them all so very much. If there's one thing I learned while I've been out here at college, it would be to make the most of the time that I have with my family. I think that statement alone is proof that I have grown up in being on my own for these past few months. Friends are no longer the most important thing in my life, family will always come first. Love and miss all of my family. Happy Mother's Day mom ! <3

Where The Heart Is

Have you ever had one of those instances where you were so lucky that you were in the right place at the right time because something somebody said had significance in your life and you felt like you just needed to hear it? I had one of those “Aha moments” today at stake conference. One of the speakers made a very interesting analogy. He was talking about Pirates of the Caribbean and about Captain Jack Sparrow. He said that Jack’s compass served as something that was very near and dear to his heart, and he couldn’t bear to have it away from him. At first, we have no idea why this compass is so very important to him. We later findout, however, that this is no regular compass that shows north and south, but that it has a deeper meaning. This compass only points in one direction, and that is in the direction of the thing that Jack desires most. Captain Jack’s heart is set on the treasure, which is why the compass always has a way of pointing to the treasure.

The speaker made the comment that our heart lies with the things that we desire the most. In Jack Sparrow’s case, that is the treasure. But what about the rest of us, where do our hearts lie? In what direction do our compass’s point? Is it in a direction that will bring us closer to God? There is a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley that I really love that says, “You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others….”

A lot of times, best friends think they know EVERYTHING about one another. Everything isn’t just your favorite color or your favorite store to shop at. Those things don’t come anywhere close to truly knowing someone. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it is impossible for somebody else to know you, when you don’t even know yourself. I wasn’t able to begin to figure out who I was until my senior year of highschool, and I still am learning new things about myself on a daily basis. But I think that now, I can say with confidence that I at least know that my compass is pointing me in the right direction. Though sometimes we make mistakes and the material desires of our heart may lead us astray, you are always able to find your way back.

I know that I’m no expert, I’m only 18 years old, what do I know. But I do think that if you discover what direction you want to go in early on in life, that you will be so much better off. And then you will be able to enjoy life, being content with the person that you are, learning new things about yourself along the way. In a weird way, this topic reminds me of the song “Dark Blue” by Jacks Mannequin. This song completely confuses me, but make’s perfect sense to me at the same time. The lyrics say:
“I have, I have you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck. I don’t, don’t know what you could possibly expect under this condition so I’ll wait, I’ll wait for the ambulance to come, ambulance to come pick us up off the floor. what did you possibly expect under this condition so slow down, this night’s a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room, well i’m here with you. I said the world could be burning til there’s nothing but dark blue.”
And of course, all lyrics are open to our own interpretation, but my way of thinking of this is that when he says “I don’t know what you could possibly expect under this condition,” he’s trying to say that he’s confused and doesn’t exactly know where he’s going or who he is and it makes it even harder when everybody has such high expectations for you and they’re on your back trying to lead you in a million different directions. And you know that you’re going to make some mistakes because it’s life and nobody’s perfect, but sometimes you just need to slow down and take a look around you and not take the people and things in your life for granted. And that sometimes you will think that you’re all alone and that nobody understands, but there is always somebody who has gone through the same thing.

Hearing this talk today was huge for me. I’m so very thankful for the people in my life and the memories that I have made with them. Through the good experiences and the bad experiences that I’ve had in life, I wouldn’t trade them in for anything because they’ve all helped me develop into my own person, and that’s so important. Just this past month, situations came up that made me aware of certain things that will be of utmost importance sometime in the near future. I’m so very blessed to have this church in my life. It has helped me through so much and has been my source of comfort. It’s the one thing in my life that I know i can always depend on for that. And I’m so glad for the situations that I’ve gone through that have made me realize how very important the church is in other people’s lives, because it has made it that much more important in mine. And just to end with a quote, “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier (:

Have thoughts on this? Tell me what you think (:

The Pursuit of Happiness

On campus, there’s this place called the Horticulture Gardens. While walking through the gardens, there’s this cute little cottage with a saying above the doorway that says ”While in the pursuit of happiness, one should stop, and just be happy…” As I thought about this quote, I thought about this past year. I don’t know about you, but my year was filled with disappointments, humiliation, and sorrows, but also new friends and unforgettable memories. Despite everything that happened this past year, the good and the bad, I tried to take a positive outlook , even on the most negative of situations. I had the mindset “Everything happens for a reason, the negatives that i have faced this year will make me into a better person, and I will grow and learn from them.” But everybody has those days where they feel like their whole world is crashing down, one bad thing happens, followed by many others that make you feel like you’re carrying the biggest burden on your shoulders. For me, that day is today.

I’m one of those people who breaks things down and tries to analyze situations. Sometimes I feel like I overanalyze, and if there’s one thing I wish I could change about myself, it would be that. Nonetheless, I still do it and I feel like that is one of the reasons why I find myself getting hurt. Because I take these negative situations that I’m in and try and find the positive in them, which gives me a bundle of hope that everything will turn out exactly how I want it. Who am I kidding? This is life, it’s neither easy nor fair. That’s where my optimistic attitude got me. Don’t get me wrong, optimism is definately not a bad thing, however there’s an extent to which you can be optimistic before you just start living this make believe life. Something that I like to call being “overly optimistic.”

So then, I tried to reverse my way of thinking. I talked to a guy who clearly had feelings for me, but whenever somebody mentioned it that he did have feelings, I denied it for fear of being hurt. That didn’t end too well either, seeing how after a few days of doing this I felt like a more miserable person because all I would do was deny the obvious.

Amidst all my confusion on which outlook on life I should take, I stumbled upon that picture of the cottage and remembered the quote from the Gardens that stated “While in the pursuit of happiness, one should stop, and just be happy.” No sooner had I read that than it hit me. I don’t need to be overly optimistic or be a debbie downer and overanalyze, I just need to be content and happy with my life. Taylor Swift once said, “There is really no such thing as what might have been. There’s what happened and what will happen. I’ve just had to realize that what might have been is imaginary, and it’s this beautiful illusion of how it could have been if you had just done this right or if things had just lined up. But things don’t line up and you mess up for a reason.” I feel like this quote sums up my life. You can’t dwell on the past and think “Well if i did this differently , i may have seen different results.” That will do nothing for you but cause you misery. The only thing you can do is go with it and handle everything that comes at you in life to the best of your ability and be content with that. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year is that if you are patient, everything will work out in the end.

One of my favorite quotes says, “We neither grow better nor worse as we get older, but more like ourselves.” I recently discovered how much I like to write, so i created a blog. This blog was not intended for anyone but myself. It’s a way to get my feelings out and just expand on different feelings or perspectives that I have. The issues I write about are always issues that I feel have helped me become the person who I am today. It might seem dumb, but sometimes after I blog, I feel more at ease with myself. So, I'm sharing it with you (: Please feel free to comment !

"Clam"ity

Why can’t all guys be like Bruno Mars, that is the golden question. I mean just read these lyrics..

Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they’re not shining. Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying. She’s so beautiful , and I tell her everyday.Yeah I know, I know when I compliment her she wont believe me And its so, its so sad to think she don’t see what I see But every time she asks me do I look okay I say When I see your face There’s not a thing that I would change Cause you’re amazing Just the way you are And when you smile,The whole world stops and stares for awhile Cause girl you’re amazing Just the way you are. Her lips, her lips I could kiss them all day if she’d let me Her laugh, her laugh She hates but I think its so sexy She’s so beautiful and I tell her everyday.

If any guy ever sang these lyrics to me, I would swoon over him and my heart would melt. Why can’t guys in real life be this adorable? Oh wait, cause they’re too busy messing with girls emotions. What ever gave them the power to control our every emotion in the first place ? We’re constantly waiting on their name to pop up in our text inbox, and when we want them to text us the most, it’s always somebody else’s name that appears. Whenever they’re in a bad mood, so are we because their mood suddenly controls ours. It’s proposterous , I tell you. Some say real men wear pink? I say real men talk about their emotions instead of playing this “game” cause frankly it’s stupid, and soon enough girls are gonna start catching on to the rules of the game. If they haven’t figured it out already, boys like the chase. And once that’s over, they’ll move on to a new chase. Well I’ve got news for you boys, two can play that game. Don’t hate the player, hate the game? Hmm no, i hate the player who made up the game. If there’s something you want to tell us, then here’s an idea.. TELL US. I had an experience once when a guy waited until 5 hours before I was getting on a flight for college all the way on the other side of the country to tell me his thoughts all along. Now what could that have done? Nothing. 5 snaps for you for waiting until the last possible second.

We’re not mind readers, that’s impossible. Because trust me, if the opportunity were there for any girl to get inside a guy’s mind for a day, she would seize that opportunity. Girls on the other hand are like open books. Once you get them talking about their feelings, they won’t stop talking about them. You would think that girls and guys are from two different planets. It just boggles my mind that girls wear their emotions on their sleeves while guys keep everything bottled up and don’t let you know what they feel. Is it an issue of their masculinity? Maybe. In my highschool, guys called other guys who treated their girlfriends nice “clams.” Really guys ? It’s called treating yo lady with respect. It’s such a “clam”ity to girls hearts and minds. So heres a quick p.s. to all the “clams” out there.. keep doing what you’re doing, that’s why you have a lady and the guys who made up the word clam are single and making up words like clam. I rest my case.

A Hint of Hope

Okay so here’s the deal. Im no expert on the way males think. In fact, I’m prettysure it’s impossible to know why guys think the way they do. If by chance you think you’ve got it all down, pardon me and more power to you. What I do know , however is that I have had my fair share of experiences with the opposite sex, both good and bad, but we’ll save those stories for another time.

Im no doctor love, by any means. I’m just as clueless as the next girl. But, I do live with 3 other college girls with long distance boyfriends, so I have learned a thing or two.

Girls, including myself, always like it better when they have a boyfriend or someone who notices them and gives them attention. It gives them more self confidence and lets them know that they will have somebody that will be there for them. Which is why when girls fall victim to the one word text responses of their mancandy, yeah we’re mostlikely going to freak out and wonder what kind of activities our men are participating in a million miles away while we’re stuck here in Rexburg, Idaho. Can you blame us?

Now , there’s two very important principles I’ve learned in my living here. First, “out of sight, out of mind,” and Second “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” In my opinion, it is more often than not that boys stick to the first principle, while girls stick more to the second. Why does it always seem that girls are the ones who are always willing to make sacrifices to make their relationships work, but guys seem to “move on to the next one” as soon as you’re out of sight. I’ve never really understood the principle of “out of sight, out of mind.” I mean, If you love somebody, distance shouldn’t matter, right? The fact that your in love should be that one factor that gets you up and out of bed each morning instead of wallowing away , watching sad movies, and eating ice cream: The common remedy for females going through heartache.

What about those who believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, I know for sure that I believe this. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. In this case I mean that once you start spending day after day with your significant other, and then have to spend periods of time apart, that’s when you realize what they truly mean to you.

Let me address one final issue. Now girls, I know we can’t get inside of guys brains, but what I do know is that if they give you an indication, any indication at all that there’s hope, we have to trust it, even if it leads us to a little bit of heartache in the end. Honestly, I don’t think guys have any idea what they want. The truth is, girl’s don’t really know what they want either. They may have this list going of all the qualities they want in somebody, but that list can be totally changed along the road. There is only one thing we can do, and that is only to have a hint of hope to keep us moving forward. But a hint of hope alone is all it takes.